There is so much to see and do in life and I do not have the mental capacity to be able to do any of these things. I am stuck in a rut and while I want to change my life for the better, I do not have the desire to make the changes necessary.
This has become quite apparent in the last few days when it was pointed out that I am not healthy to be around or talk with.
I have been thinking through these thoughts for many months now and I always find myself in the same thinking patterns. I want to improve but do not want to do the work required to help myself.
Now from what I have read, a person can only be helped if they want to help themselves. I want to be helped, but do not want to help myself.
I can read books, I can listen to podcasts, and I can understand some of the tools that will help me get better. I just do not find the answers to move my thinking from just wanting to get better to being able to make the changes necessary to get better.
I want to change, but I do not know how to stick with change if and when I do make changes to my life. Someone will probably tell me that change is hard and requires work from me, but how can I do the hard work if I do not want to put in the effort?
I am sick of feeling this way, yet I don’t want to help myself at the same time. I feel like my life is a failure and the world will be a better place without me.
That will help me, right?