Musings of a Switch

Unfiltered thoughts from a bisexual switch

Feelings

Catch-22

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I have a couple of thoughts on a topic. I’m not sure if my thoughts on the topic are controversial.

We as men are primal creatures. Visual stimuli drives my initial thoughts about sex and dating. I am not suggesting men are not emotional.

Since our initial thoughts and reactions are stimulated by visual stimuli, we gravitate towards the nude female body.

A short history

My take on the history of porn has three stages:

  1. live performance
  2. magazine and videos (VHS/DVD)
  3. video on demand (Pornhub and Youporn)
  4. personalised content (OnlyFans and Fansly)

Meeting women online is a challenge. There seems to be two sides to the one coin, and I feel these two sides contradict each other.

Two sides of the coin

On one side, men are trying to meet women the way it happens in porn. They believe women owe them sex. It feels like this leads to women being selective when it comes to talking to all men. Women appear to be closeted until there is some level of trust (if they open up).

It feels like this closeted nature leads to women ignoring men, including the genuine ones.

On the other side, some women are trying to attract the attention of men with the hope they pay for “personalised” content via OnlyFans or Fansly. They post openly on a variety of social media, sometimes across many sub-sections. Men are lured in with the phrasing on their social media posts. It gives the impression they can meet the woman

It seems that we have a catch-22 scenario.

I am confused

For years I have watched women fight against the unwanted attention of men while at the same time there is this increased desire for wanted attention. Now I know these are not necessarily the same women on both sides, however it feels as though they can be.

Some women want the paid attention of men, conversely some men are interested in the companionship of women. When a woman posts asking for interaction, but then only replies through platforms where they are compensated with a subscription, I just get annoyed.

What next?

So how does a genuine man stand out from the crowd to find a genuine woman? It feels like a catch-22.

Not helping myself

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There is so much to see and do in life and I do not have the mental capacity to be able to do any of these things. I am stuck in a rut and while I want to change my life for the better, I do not have the desire to make the changes necessary.

This has become quite apparent in the last few days when it was pointed out that I am not healthy to be around or talk with.

I have been thinking through these thoughts for many months now and I always find myself in the same thinking patterns. I want to improve but do not want to do the work required to help myself.

Now from what I have read, a person can only be helped if they want to help themselves. I want to be helped, but do not want to help myself.

I can read books, I can listen to podcasts, and I can understand some of the tools that will help me get better. I just do not find the answers to move my thinking from just wanting to get better to being able to make the changes necessary to get better.

I want to change, but I do not know how to stick with change if and when I do make changes to my life. Someone will probably tell me that change is hard and requires work from me, but how can I do the hard work if I do not want to put in the effort?

I am sick of feeling this way, yet I don’t want to help myself at the same time. I feel like my life is a failure and the world will be a better place without me.

That will help me, right?

The first thing in bed

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I would kiss my way down your body, over your breasts giving them a little suck on the way down. After that, I would kneel between your legs, leaning forward to take in the scent emanating from between your legs.

I would lean forward, dragging my tongue along your pussy lips, feeling the heat coming from inside you before parting your pussy lips to expose your cunt & clit as my tongue reaches inside, tasting your juices and heat.

My tongue working my way along your cunt & clit, working you towards an long drawn out orgasm.

Submissive blowjob

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Right now, as I write this, the bisexual switch in me has moved towards the submissive side. It eagerly wants to feel a warm, hard cock in my mouth.

I want to hold the cock in my hand. I want to touch it with my tongue and lips. Stroking the cock knowing the owner enjoys the sensations.

My tongue teases the underside of the glans, making the cock owner squirm and moan and groan.

It is my pleasure to make the cock owner happy and expect nothing in return. The submissive in me in happy.