sinful sunday

The idea of self voyeurism is not one of my personal kinks. I am personally repulsed by my body and I struggle with self-love and compassion for myself.

I’ve tried numerous times to be comfortable watching myself, both in the mirror of a bedroom I have shared with Missus Sub, or previous non-monogamous partners I have had. I try my best to position myself away from the mirror, or when we do face a mirror, I look away and focus on the person I am with.

However before that, the idea of making home movies also came to mind, and while Missus Sub and I created them when we were much younger, I don’t recall ever watching them, or if I did, I wasn’t all that turned on.

On top of watching myself in mirrors, and home-made porn movies, there are also the pics one takes of themselves to share with others. While I manage to take the occasional one, and maybe share it online, I still don’t like looking at them. Posting the following picture is taking courage, and I’m struggling to justify posting it.

Now that’s not to say that it doesn’t work for others, but for me, it certainly doesn’t work at all. It is a shame because I do like listening to the sounds that Missus Sub and I make when we are together, but seeing my body is a major turn off.

So while self voyeurism works for some, it does not work for me.