Pregnant porn desires

I have shared my thoughts and ideas of my relationship with porn. I am going to continue this topic with another post.

I have mentioned that the porn I view has a significant influence over my sexual desires. Right now, I find that the porn I view makes me regret part of my life, but also what happened in the past.

My current porn subscriptions consist of curvy, voluptuous women, pregnant women, and transwomen. The one in particular that I want to talk about, and causing the most regret is pregnant women.

I have a desire to be intimate and very sexual with a heavily pregnant woman. I want to tease and please her, I want to touch and caress her curves. I want to pleasure her, and satisfy her horny urges.

When Missus Sub was pregnant with out children, I was not in a good headspace. I was severely depressed, and very uninterested sex except for the occasional uptick in desire. They were few and far between, and was more about my orgasmic release than the needs and desires of Missus Sub. Sex at that time was very transactional.

So I missed the opportunity to fulfil my desires to be with a pregnant woman that was right on my doorstep so to speak. I am not sure that I will ever have the opportunity to fulfil my sexual desires.

This is where I struggle. Do I continue feeding my obsession with pregnant porn, feeding the “beast” so to speak, causing me to continue having feelings of regret? Or do I avoid pregnancy porn in the hope that my desires go away?

I am aware that I can search for a poly or poly-friendly woman who is pregnant, with the hopes of forming a relationship with her? However to date, finding poly or poly-friendly women has not been successful.

So I find myself in a quandary. Do I stop viewing porn my mind desires? Or do I continue viewing it while living with regrets and disappointment? That is the question.