Musings of a Switch

Unfiltered thoughts from a bisexual switch

non-monogamy

An upcoming adventure

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It has been some time since I have written anything here on the blog about any sexual adventures or feelings. Mainly because not many adventures have been had.

I took a break from seeking any additional polyamorous partners for a few months. I find it exhausting to continue looking without having much luck.

However, it seems that things may be turning around in the near future, particularly when it comes to some bedroom action.

Cartoon image of a couple on a bed, the woman pegging the man on his back
Pegging by Girl on the Net

Well, I have met someone online, we are very much into each other and looking for something similar. Unfortunately they live in a different state to me, and only get to my home town every 6 to 8 weeks.

We have high expectations at the moment that we will meet in the coming weeks. At the moment it will be dinner or drinks & hopefully some fooling around in the bedroom. As is the case, online fun & thoughts sometimes don’t pan out the way you hope in person.

I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much. I have a habit of getting my hopes up, and then very disappointed when it does not work out as expected.

I have to catch myself before I let it go too far. I can almost feel it rising too far at the moment even though it is still a few weeks away & their travel plans are not locked in yet.

So those are my current sexual adventures for the moment, I hope they all work out for our sake. I will report back once more details are known.

Moving forward

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Life for the last six or so months has been a series of ups and downs. There were many high points, and many low points that followed the highs. I met new people online, a few of those I met in person, and some of those have decided to go their own way.

What I have learned from these six months is that what I am looking for in a person probably does not exist. The idea of finding a person who is:

  • looking for in person DDlg dynamic
  • open to exploring with a relatively inexperienced Daddy
  • polyamorous
  • flexible around life situations

Trying to find the quadrella within the Sydney basin seems relatively difficult. Six months of exploring has not found someone who is willing to go the distance beyond talking online.

So where to now?

It seem that the person I am looking for is a unicorn, I think I need to accept one of three things:

  1. I become more flexible in the criteria I am looking for
  2. I stop looking for the unicorn
  3. I find a new kink to explore with poly people

I don’t feel my criteria can be any more flexible without damaging my existing family. I would essentially need to have my own play space that I have access to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and that basically means not having a family. Alternatively I stop looking for the unicorn.

Given one of them is far easier to achieve than the other, I think I really need to pick the option where I stop looking. I cannot continue looking for a needle in a haystack, especially if this needle does not appear to exist.

So from today, this switch will stop looking for the unicorn, and start learning to accept what I have been given. If the opportunity arises I might explore it, however I’m not too sure that it will arrive.

I think it might be time to farewell this chapter of Daddy Dom and put it behind me, confining it to the history of this blog. Maybe a new chapter will open in the future, but for now I think this chapter is closed.

BDSM Test

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Since it is a new year, I have decided to give the BDSM Test another crack for 2023. I want to see how much I have evolved over time.

Looking at the results quickly, being a switch still remains number 1 on my list. There have been some slight movements up and down the list, but I think overall the list is relatively steady.

I definitely agree with the switch rating, as I swing both ways. I’ll come back in a few months and see what happens.

BDSM ARCHETYPERATING
Switch100%
Non-monogamist90%
Brat90%
Experimentalist86%
Masochist85%
Daddy/Mommy85%
Dominant79%
Sadist76%
Submissive76%
Brat tamer74%
Ageplayer73%
Boy/girl73%
Rigger68%
Voyeur61%
Vanilla53%
Primal (Hunter)41%
Primal (Prey)34%
Master/Mistress31%
Rope bunny31%
Owner23%
Degrader14%
Exhibitionist11%
Slave9%
Pet3%
Degradee3%

Here’s to the next time I do the test and see how I have evolved further.

Aussie Daddy seeking his special little

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Hello Littles, middles and caregivers

My name is William. I am from Sydney, Australia, and I am looking for someone to be my special little. I have lots of love to share with you and much to teach you as my little.

I am:

  • kind, caring, sensual and affectionate
  • assertive and dominant as we explore our shared kinks together
  • open minded as I listen and learn about you, your wants, needs, and everything your heart desires.

I want the two of us to have a great time whenever we are together (as well as apart), and to share dinner dates, movie nights, dancing, cuddles, kisses and so much more.

I would like my little to:

  • be nerdy, geeky and/or artistic
  • have hobbies outside of Cgl
  • have some bratty tendencies, but also know when Daddy mean business

I do not mind a little who is into pacifiers and bottles/sippy cups, and she can also be into wearing diapers if she wants. I have some sadist tendencies, so if you have a touch of masochism, we will get along quite nicely.

I would like our relationship to be ongoing and not just a “satisfy me now” type arrangement. I want to see you grow over time, and help you become a better version of yourself. I want to hear what interests you most about exploring a long term cgl or a D/s dynamic. Please share with me a little about yourself, what you like to do and your kinks.

In a perfect world, I would like a little girl who lives near me so we can meet in person, however I’m also open to long distance relationships.

I am polyamorous, and my partner is fully aware of my search to find my special person.

P.S. If you are only looking for a ONS, or intend to ghost me, please do not message me.

Respect

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What I am about to write in this post is difficult to share. I am frustrated by a recent chain of events that happened in my list this week. I want to move on from these events and put this experience behind me. However I have a desire to write and share these thoughts.

Last wee, I spotted a post published by a transmasculine non-binary person. They are located in the same metropolitan region as I am, and they were looking for a Daddy Dom to explore a potential dynamic with.

I reached out to them to see if we could have a chat, to see if there was some common ground, and to see what might happen. The conversation flowed easily, and we realised that we could offer what we were each looking for.

I have not had many interactions with a transmasculine non-binary person before. I did my best to be respectful. I feel like I may have slipped up once or twice, I apologised and they assured me that I was doing well, and that I had the right intentions with our interactions.

During our talk, the topic of past dynamics and relationships came up. Obviously I shared my experiences of these dynamics. One particular experience I shared was about being ghosted.

As a result of some of my past interactions, I believe that it is better to be open and honest about your feelings with the other person than outright ghost them if you don’t want to continue. They said something very similar, and said they something along the lines of “I believe I would be respectful if things do not work out [between us], but obviously hope it would not come to that”.

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

We continued chatting, even started to arrange to catch-up in person during the break. Clearly we were both excited to be meeting a potential play partner and that became the topic of conversation for a while.

The conversation flowed well over a few days, we still talked about the upcoming catch-up. And then the following events occurred.

Late one evening, we were chatting as normal for us, we were both tired and it was getting late. We said our good nights to each other. I planned to stay up for a bit longer. As I was sitting there doing whatever I was doing, the conversation disappeared from the app we were using. I thought it was strange for a conversation to disappear. My initial thoughts were that there was a bug in the app, and I restarted the phone/app but the conversation was gone.

Given it was late I didn’t was to press the issue, and thought it could be resolved the following morning.

I remained awake and continued with my evening. However as I climbed into bed, I received a message from them using the orginal platform where we met. It said the following:

Hey. Just want to apologise. This got overwhelming very quickly and I can’t do this. I hope there is no hard feelings but I can’t meet up or continue speaking. It was my first step into attempting poly and I got scared. So, I need to focus on myself and my current relationship so I can get over these fears. Good luck with it all, and sorry again.

I can understand things being new and challenging your thoughts, but I also know that we discussed “exit strategies” for lack of a better term, and being respectful of each others feelings if things weren’t working for us.

That was not the message I was expecting at all. I thought maybe the topic of things moving too fast could come up, then we could stop & evaluate the situation, and have an adult conversation and talk about what was not working. I was hoping that there would be at least show some respect to the other person rather than just ghosting them leaving them in the dark with a vague message that was a complete 180-degree turn from where the conversation left just 2 hours earlier.

I have my suspicions as to why I was ghosted (they developed feelings they weren’t expecting to develop). I understand that non-monogamy may not be for everyone, and I can respect that.

I would have been happy to step back and let them evaluate whether they wanted to pursue the dynamic further or not. Being ghosted without an explanation just sucks, especially when things felt like they were going really well just a few hours earlier.

While I don’t need an explanation, it would be nice to receive an explanation of why would want to end things.

It is disappointing that something that felt natural and going well, and had promise for both parties, ended the way it did.

Logically I am somewhat relieved that it happened before we met in person, or at the time of the planned catch-up. However I am disappointed that it happened at all, especially we we had discussed this exact type of situation earlier on. It happened, what’s done is done, I have to move on, but it is sad that it happened.

All I can say is that for those people looking to explore non-monogamy, please be open and honest with all people involved. Do not ghost! The only reason I can see where ghosting is valid is when there is a threat to your safety.