Life for the last six or so months has been a series of ups and downs. There were many high points, and many low points that followed the highs. I met new people online, a few of those I met in person, and some of those have decided to go their own way.
What I have learned from these six months is that what I am looking for in a person probably does not exist. The idea of finding a person who is:
- looking for in person DDlg dynamic
- open to exploring with a relatively inexperienced Daddy
- polyamorous
- flexible around life situations
Trying to find the quadrella within the Sydney basin seems relatively difficult. Six months of exploring has not found someone who is willing to go the distance beyond talking online.
So where to now?
It seem that the person I am looking for is a unicorn, I think I need to accept one of three things:
- I become more flexible in the criteria I am looking for
- I stop looking for the unicorn
- I find a new kink to explore with poly people
I don’t feel my criteria can be any more flexible without damaging my existing family. I would essentially need to have my own play space that I have access to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and that basically means not having a family. Alternatively I stop looking for the unicorn.
Given one of them is far easier to achieve than the other, I think I really need to pick the option where I stop looking. I cannot continue looking for a needle in a haystack, especially if this needle does not appear to exist.
So from today, this switch will stop looking for the unicorn, and start learning to accept what I have been given. If the opportunity arises I might explore it, however I’m not too sure that it will arrive.
I think it might be time to farewell this chapter of Daddy Dom and put it behind me, confining it to the history of this blog. Maybe a new chapter will open in the future, but for now I think this chapter is closed.
Hey,
I followed the link to your article from Mastodon. Man, you’re having it rough. I’d like to give you words of encouragement, but your situation seems to be quite different than mine. The one major difference is that I’m not a father. Frankly, I don’t know how this affects prospects.
I used to be married but I’m now divorced. I’ve had two major life-threatening illnesses. I’m temporarily disabled due to the treatment I received for the second. I am pansexual and polyamorous. I’m 50, which makes me “over the hill” for many folks. I’m also a “regular Joe.” You would know just by looking at me that I’m into BDSM, at all. I don’t wear leather gear. My hair is short and its natural color, etc. My profile pictures are me with a Fedora or Panama hat. I even wear suspenders in some pics.
I’m maybe also a one year old Daddy Dom. My journey started when Kneeling Impala grabbed me by the virtual collar and started wanting to sext with me. Then in June last year, I had an encounter in real life with Slutty Impala, but that turned into a one night stand, much against our wishes. Then I met Fearless Impala in September, and she was my girl friend until March. She was schizophrenic and her illness is taking over. She decided to break up with me. At the start of February, Lovely Impala came over and we had a threesome but that did not last.
Yesterday, I met Youthful Impala and we made love. She asked prior to meeting how many subs I had and I truthfully I had none at that time, but that in February I had two subs.
Geography can work in your disfavor, but I don’t know your area enough to have an opinion. I know in my area the queers tend to congregate into the major metropolis around here. I’ve started going to queer events and most of them are in that city. So I’m going to be getting closer.
I’ll say this, for everyone, except Lovely Impala, I did offer renting a room at least for our first encounter. I’m still in the hotel room I shared with Youthful, even though she departed last night. Sometimes I offered renting rooms for further encounters. When I met Fearless for instance, I was still living with my ex-wife and she had a rule about no sex in the house so I was forced to rent if I wanted to have sex with her.
Maybe I’m telling you stuff you already know. I don’t know. I do know it can be hard. My relationship with Youthful is going to go forward but she’s back in college several states away from me until May, and she wants to keep it casual, which in theory is fine, but I’m looking for more ultimately. She knows that I’m poly and will look for other partners.
I don’t know if you had a chance to practice your skills while you were looking for partners. Practicing some skills alone, like bondage, is very possible. (More than I thought at first.) I’ve taken online classes on FetLife and practiced between partners. I think this made me more “legitimate” in the eyes of Fearless, Lovely and Youthful. I’m also keen on buying toys. I showed Youthful my violet wand and tried it on her but she’s not into it. It’s okay. We cannot be into all the toys. I did use my spanking paddle on her, however.
I’d like to tell you to continue looking, but ultimately you’re a better judge and that is your decision to make. I’ve been at it for a year, and I gave you the lowdown above.
Sincerely,
Terminal Impala