Musings of a Switch

Unfiltered thoughts from a bisexual switch

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Self voyeurism

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The idea of self voyeurism is not one of my personal kinks. I am personally repulsed by my body and I struggle with self-love and compassion for myself.

I’ve tried numerous times to be comfortable watching myself, both in the mirror of a bedroom I have shared with Missus Sub, or previous non-monogamous partners I have had. I try my best to position myself away from the mirror, or when we do face a mirror, I look away and focus on the person I am with.

However before that, the idea of making home movies also came to mind, and while Missus Sub and I created them when we were much younger, I don’t recall ever watching them, or if I did, I wasn’t all that turned on.

On top of watching myself in mirrors, and home-made porn movies, there are also the pics one takes of themselves to share with others. While I manage to take the occasional one, and maybe share it online, I still don’t like looking at them. Posting the following picture is taking courage, and I’m struggling to justify posting it.

Now that’s not to say that it doesn’t work for others, but for me, it certainly doesn’t work at all. It is a shame because I do like listening to the sounds that Missus Sub and I make when we are together, but seeing my body is a major turn off.

So while self voyeurism works for some, it does not work for me.

Four weeks later

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Today is four weeks to the day since I had a needle and ring pushed through my penis. Yes, four weeks with the long thought about Prince Albert piercing.

Since Day 3, bleeding has been virtually non-existent and I have not had any major issues with the piercing at all.

I did have one bleeding event, and that was immediately after sex with the lovely Missus Sub on Mothers Day morning. Clearly it wasn’t as healed as I expected, maybe it was the smaller gauge ring being a little bitey. We won’t know the exact reason, but a few days of saline spray and gentle handling, and it was as good as it was leading up to the bedroom fun.

Pain has generally been non-existent as well, and other than a slight burning during urination, which doesn’t feel bad, but more about a slight back pressure from reduced flow area. I’m not too concerned about it given the sterile nature of urine actually having a cleansing effect on the piercing.

Now, the real question is how do I feel about it four weeks in?

Some people say that it is the best thing they have done and they don’t regret it. Well while I don’t regret getting it done, right now I’m feeling somewhat indifferent about it.

I’m not sure why I feel indifferent about it. Clearly I initially hyped it up, maybe I thought it would change my sex drive, maybe I’m actually just not that into it anymore. It could actually be something else.

So where to from here?

I still have a desire to increase the ring gauge to something larger than the 12G or 10G that I was pierced with. Right now, my thoughts are to reach a 4G or a 2G ring. I’m not really interested in anything larger, but that could always change once I get closer to a 2G ring or curved barbell.

Day 0 | Day 1 | Day 2 & 3

Under the sunset

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We meet up for a late afternoon drink, the sun is not far above the horizon, but still an hour away from sunset.

I buy the first round of drinks, you are drinking a margarita and I have a beer. We sit and casually chat as the sun slowly descends, the talk soon turns to flirting and some footsies under the table.

I suggest we go for a walk along the beach as the sun sets over the ocean.

We walk along, the flirting continues until we are both hot and horny, struggling to keep our hands off each other. We fall to the sand, I climb on top, kissing you deeply as my hands start to explore your body.

My hand wanders under your shirt, lifting it to expose your round breasts. I gently nibble at them as the sun continues to set beyond the horizon. I take them into my mouth, suckling at them as if I am feeding of your milk.

I roll over and lay next to you, my hand wanders down inside your jeans. My fingers slip inside your warm, moist cunt. I watch your eyes as my fingers slide inside you, and your eyes roll into the back of your head telling me you are hot and horny for me.

I help as your wriggle your jeans down, I kneel between your legs and lean forward to smell the scent emanating from your cunt. I breathe deeply to take in the full scent profile.

My tongue slips along your cunt lips. I gently spread your lips with my fingers and work my tongue deeper into your folds as I work back and forth along your slit. You rest your hands on the back of my head as I continue working your cunt with my tongue.

I focus my tongue on your clit. I lift the hood with my tongue and reveal the clit for my tongue. I gently nibble, a moan escapes your lips. You push my face hard against your cunt as I work your clit.

I slip a finger inside your warmth, reaching for your G-spot as my tongue continues to work your clit.

The last of the sun dips below the horizon and a gentle breeze blows over us. The light slowly fades as my fingers rub your G-spot, edging you closer to a deep orgasm with each stroke.

You push my face deep into your cunt as your moans get louder. I earnestly continue licking and sucking on your cunt lips, occasionally nibbling on them listening to your groans get louder.

The louder your moans and groans get, the closer I can sense you are on the verge of an orgasm.

My tongue vigorously works your clit and pussy lips as my fingers rub your G-spot. I keep my face against you as best I can as you start squirming, your moans and groans building until I nibble your clit in just the right way, your body writhing as an orgasm rolls over you. I continue rubbing your G-spot as best I can as orgasm after orgasm rolls through your body.

I pull back and let the last of the orgasm subside. I lay down beside you, wrap my arms around you and we lay there watching the stars appear one by one as the last of the sunlight fades.

Socks

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On their own, socks don’t come front and centre to my mind as being related to kink. I do know that many people enjoy wearing socks, especially longer ones, and some even associate it with little girls as part of their Daddy Dom, little girl dynamics.

I generally keep socks for wearing with footwear, and keeping my toes warm in winter on the cold floors. The vast majority of my socks are sports socks as they are my go to, but I have others for work related footwear and activities. Kink related to sock wearing is not part of my playbook.

However, there is something that just turns me on seeing a woman wearing long socks, just in underwear and a large t-shirt over the top. I think it plays right into my DDlg kink. Not sure what it is though, but it floats my boat.

Could I pull off photos of myself wearing some long, brightly coloured socks, wearing nothing but my new Prince Albert piercing? I certainly don’t think so even with a dose of self esteem directly into the brain.