Musings of a Switch

Unfiltered thoughts from a bisexual switch

Musings

Female desires

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I have many fantasies going on at once in my life, sometimes they overlap.

Today’s fantasy is where I have the body of a woman. My desire is to have breasts, a vulva, a vagina and a clitoris. A fantasy where I have the appearance and desires of a woman.

My fantasy is to experience being penetrated by large cocks, fingers and fists both mine and others, being fucked with dildos and to be fucked using a fucking machine. Yes I know as a man I can have those feelings, but I want to feel it vaginally.

I want to to touch my clitoris, rub it and make myself orgasm. I want to grab and cup my breasts, to massage them, to play with my nipples. Even get them pierced. Maybe even lactate as part of an adult nursing relationship.

I want to do all these things and more, to take videos and pictures of myself, share them on the internet for all to see. Sharing some of them freely using the likes of Reddit, Twitter or Mastodon, and more explicit ones behind a subscription paywall like OnlyFans or Fansly.

So I possibly have an exhibitionist streak, however to fulfil it in a way that I desire, I need to be in a female body. I know that will never change, however it will still be desirable thoughts that I will never get to experience in all its glory. Maybe in a future life.

Curvy and dark desires

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Content warning: I share some personal thoughts about dark skinned women. They are not intended to come across as the fetishisation of these women.

I have previously shared some thoughts on my sexual desires with people who have certain features. Today is another one of those days.

Today’s desires are for cisgendered women today. However, I want these women to be curvy and have dark coloured skin. Why my brain has these types of women on my mind is anyone’s guess.

BUT that is who I am put in the search bar when looking for porn. Or imagine the body of the voice artist when listening to some adult recordings from r/gonewildaudio.

Not sure it will happen in my life, I seem to have the propensity to drive away people who show any interest in me at all.

Just a random thought

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Every now and then, when I am in a submissive mindset, I have a very similar thought each & every time. It has been the same thought year after year.

I have never acted on the thought because I’m not sure that acting on it will necessarily improve my happiness. This is my random thought:

What would it be like to be the owner of a vagina & breasts?

Not sure why, but it seems to come on most strongly when I am in a submissive, anal, slutty type mood.

I certainly do not feel as though I am a woman trapped in a man’s body and would like to transition towards being a woman. But I guess it is more inquisitive than anything else, curious to feel the sensations that a woman does, to know what it is like to be on the receiving end of a good pounding.

I think that is partly related to my bisexual feelings, while being hetero-romantic. I like the idea of sucking on a strong, hard cock, the idea of an anal fucking, and having a man leave a load of warm, sticky cum in my arse.

So I would not consider myself trans, more just a bisexual hetero-romantic guy who would like to experience the feelings of being a woman.

Transgender desires

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Content warning: I share some personal thoughts about transwomen. They are not intended to come across as fetishisation of transwomen.

As I write this (and the days leading up to writing these musings), my mind often wanders to the idea of being intimate with a transwoman.

I want to tease them. I want to play with and suck on their girlcocks/clits. I want to fondle and suckle on their breasts. I want to fuck them. I want to be fucked by them.

I want to have an intimate and pleasurable time with them as the transwoman they are.

I feel like this is somewhat fetishising them & their bodies, but it is a desire that my mind is drawn towards.

When a dynamic ends

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When a dynamic ends, you always question whether there is something more you could have done to make the dynamic continue.

One of my online ones ended this morning, I knew it was likely to end, and I knew this day would eventually come, but it still hurts just a little that it can’t continue.

It was fun while it lasted, but all good things must come to an end.