Musings of a Switch

Unfiltered thoughts from a bisexual switch

non-monogamy

Aussie Daddy seeking his special little

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Hello Littles, middles and caregivers

My name is William. I am from Sydney, Australia, and I am looking for someone to be my special little. I have lots of love to share with you and much to teach you as my little.

I am:

  • kind, caring, sensual and affectionate
  • assertive and dominant as we explore our shared kinks together
  • open minded as I listen and learn about you, your wants, needs, and everything your heart desires.

I want the two of us to have a great time whenever we are together (as well as apart), and to share dinner dates, movie nights, dancing, cuddles, kisses and so much more.

I would like my little to:

  • be nerdy, geeky and/or artistic
  • have hobbies outside of Cgl
  • have some bratty tendencies, but also know when Daddy mean business

I do not mind a little who is into pacifiers and bottles/sippy cups, and she can also be into wearing diapers if she wants. I have some sadist tendencies, so if you have a touch of masochism, we will get along quite nicely.

I would like our relationship to be ongoing and not just a “satisfy me now” type arrangement. I want to see you grow over time, and help you become a better version of yourself. I want to hear what interests you most about exploring a long term cgl or a D/s dynamic. Please share with me a little about yourself, what you like to do and your kinks.

In a perfect world, I would like a little girl who lives near me so we can meet in person, however I’m also open to long distance relationships.

I am polyamorous, and my partner is fully aware of my search to find my special person.

P.S. If you are only looking for a ONS, or intend to ghost me, please do not message me.

Respect

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What I am about to write in this post is difficult to share. I am frustrated by a recent chain of events that happened in my list this week. I want to move on from these events and put this experience behind me. However I have a desire to write and share these thoughts.

Last wee, I spotted a post published by a transmasculine non-binary person. They are located in the same metropolitan region as I am, and they were looking for a Daddy Dom to explore a potential dynamic with.

I reached out to them to see if we could have a chat, to see if there was some common ground, and to see what might happen. The conversation flowed easily, and we realised that we could offer what we were each looking for.

I have not had many interactions with a transmasculine non-binary person before. I did my best to be respectful. I feel like I may have slipped up once or twice, I apologised and they assured me that I was doing well, and that I had the right intentions with our interactions.

During our talk, the topic of past dynamics and relationships came up. Obviously I shared my experiences of these dynamics. One particular experience I shared was about being ghosted.

As a result of some of my past interactions, I believe that it is better to be open and honest about your feelings with the other person than outright ghost them if you don’t want to continue. They said something very similar, and said they something along the lines of “I believe I would be respectful if things do not work out [between us], but obviously hope it would not come to that”.

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

We continued chatting, even started to arrange to catch-up in person during the break. Clearly we were both excited to be meeting a potential play partner and that became the topic of conversation for a while.

The conversation flowed well over a few days, we still talked about the upcoming catch-up. And then the following events occurred.

Late one evening, we were chatting as normal for us, we were both tired and it was getting late. We said our good nights to each other. I planned to stay up for a bit longer. As I was sitting there doing whatever I was doing, the conversation disappeared from the app we were using. I thought it was strange for a conversation to disappear. My initial thoughts were that there was a bug in the app, and I restarted the phone/app but the conversation was gone.

Given it was late I didn’t was to press the issue, and thought it could be resolved the following morning.

I remained awake and continued with my evening. However as I climbed into bed, I received a message from them using the orginal platform where we met. It said the following:

Hey. Just want to apologise. This got overwhelming very quickly and I can’t do this. I hope there is no hard feelings but I can’t meet up or continue speaking. It was my first step into attempting poly and I got scared. So, I need to focus on myself and my current relationship so I can get over these fears. Good luck with it all, and sorry again.

I can understand things being new and challenging your thoughts, but I also know that we discussed “exit strategies” for lack of a better term, and being respectful of each others feelings if things weren’t working for us.

That was not the message I was expecting at all. I thought maybe the topic of things moving too fast could come up, then we could stop & evaluate the situation, and have an adult conversation and talk about what was not working. I was hoping that there would be at least show some respect to the other person rather than just ghosting them leaving them in the dark with a vague message that was a complete 180-degree turn from where the conversation left just 2 hours earlier.

I have my suspicions as to why I was ghosted (they developed feelings they weren’t expecting to develop). I understand that non-monogamy may not be for everyone, and I can respect that.

I would have been happy to step back and let them evaluate whether they wanted to pursue the dynamic further or not. Being ghosted without an explanation just sucks, especially when things felt like they were going really well just a few hours earlier.

While I don’t need an explanation, it would be nice to receive an explanation of why would want to end things.

It is disappointing that something that felt natural and going well, and had promise for both parties, ended the way it did.

Logically I am somewhat relieved that it happened before we met in person, or at the time of the planned catch-up. However I am disappointed that it happened at all, especially we we had discussed this exact type of situation earlier on. It happened, what’s done is done, I have to move on, but it is sad that it happened.

All I can say is that for those people looking to explore non-monogamy, please be open and honest with all people involved. Do not ghost! The only reason I can see where ghosting is valid is when there is a threat to your safety.

The blues

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I have alluded to having a non-monogamous partner in the past independent of my marriage to Missus Sub. I have also sworn to myself previously that after a non-monogamous relationship break up, that I would not go looking to enter into another one.

So I would like to share with those who may be interested, that I find myself in this post-relationship situation once again. Yes, I’ve entered the post-relationship blues again, telling myself that I do not want to go looking for another relationship to enter. BUT, I also find that I want to keep searching for a non-monogamous relationship.

I have a dark habit of setting myself some basic ground rules, and then turning against my rules when the situation I want to avoid comes and greets me. I just can’t stay away from the search.

What it is about the search, I don’t know? Maybe it is part of my identity, maybe I want to be a different person to who I feel that I am at the moment. I would like to know, but I do not know how to tease it out of my subconscious.

I try and write consistently in my journal, but they seem to be more rants than constructive conversations with myself. I’m considering mixing up how I journal to see if there are patterns in my thoughts & rants.

So I think I am now past the relationship blues, for the most part. There are still times I wish she would have replied and given me answer, or at least said goodbye, but for the most part I have accepted that it clearly wasn’t meant to be. There is no point dwelling on what could have been, what’s done is done.

Do while I may have had the post-relationship blues, I think they are mostly gone now, but that doesn’t stop them returning. I just need to acknowledge them and move on to new things, and hopefully stick with my convictions of the past, or re-evaluating them.

Do tell

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Just curious. If you are in an open relationship, would it bother you if your partner’s new lover sent you pics of them together? Why or why not?

For me, it would really depend on what the agreement was about the level of details we should share with each other about our non-monogamous partners. If all parties were open to it, I would not mind, but generally I think I prefer they keeps pics just for themselves rather than sharing with me unless it is something I specifically ask for.

What is the rudest thing someone can do in your home?

Have sex with your significant other on the assumption they were just coming over to watch a movie and hang out with your significant other. BTW, this is a true story.

What would you change, if anything, about your experience growing up?

I think that the one thing I would change is not being so uptight about money during my twenties and learn to live life and travel more than I did. Since reaching my thirties and having children, I regret not living life more full when I was younger.

The absolute worst fight you have ever had with a significant other, what was it about?

See the question about about the rudest thing someone can do in your home. It lead to some serious discussions and I believe a few nights were spent on the sofa by one of us as a result of it.

What is your favourite place to visit in your city or town?

Now that’s a hard one to answer, I don’t usually travel around my city and find places I really enjoy. But one thing I do enjoy is taking photographs of steam trains in new places I haven’t seen them before.

Bonus: Were you your mom or dad’s favourite kid?

I think there are days where I was because I was the more docile of the two of us. However I think my brother could be sometimes just because.

Prostate play

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Prostate play, or prostate massage, is the act of massaging or stimulating the prostate gland for sexual stimulation. It was previously used as medical therapy, but this is no longer the case.

In my opinion, there is two forms for prostate play, massage & milking.

My experience

My experience with prostate play is limited. I have only engaged in light prostate massage with toys and fingers. I find that ongoing massage leading to milking leads to unbearable sensations that become uncomfortable.

However, the times I engaged in prostate play were some of the most enjoyable sexual experiences I have been involved in. My prostate has been stimulated in a number of ways including both fingers and toys.

My favourite method for prostate play is during the submissive moments that are experienced while being pegged.

Intimacy

I find that exposing one self for prostate play requires a high level of intimacy. I do not feel comfortable opening myself up for prostate play on a first date. I feel that it needs a level of trust that I cannot give to anyone I meet for the first time.

I have only felt comfortable to open up for prostate play with two people, Missus Sub and a previous poly partner involving pegging. Both ladies have stimulated my prostate using toys and the intimate act of pegging.

Recent experience

Unfortunately there has not been much experience lately. I have not been on the receiving end of prostate stimulation for quite some time. It is something I would like to bring back, but family life makes this somewhat difficult. I suspect it will make a renaissance once the children are older.

Future desire

Writing about prostate play is bringing back memories of play times of the past, the emotional intimacy required to submit to someone and expose yourself for prostate play. While I write this, my mind wanders into engaging in some solo prostate play if I cannot get some private time with Missus Sub.

The idea of a leaking cock because there is pressure on my prostate from a butt plug or dildo certainly stirs something deep inside my mind and body.

Hopefully there will be some prostate play in my near future, but if there isn’t there will always be the reminder of fictional stories about prostate play.