Musings of a Switch

Unfiltered thoughts from a bisexual switch

kinks

The Basilisk

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Neither of Missus Sub nor I have had the opportunity to purchase a new sex toy for a number of years. We were recently given the opportunity to review a product from the Laphwing catalogue of toys, so we were greatly honoured to try something new.

The catalogue of Laphwing is broad and varied, from traditional penile shaped dildos and vibrators, to fantasy and animal dildos. Our collection to date has generally been the traditional shaped toys, so we took the opportunity to try out a fantasy shaped dildo.

Our toy of choice for this review is the Basilisk Volcanic Rock 8.1″ Fantasy Dildo.

Material & Texture

The Laphwing website states that the Basilisk is made from premium silicone. It is firm when compressed in my hand, yet flexible when twisted and bent.

This feeling makes for what we believe is a well performing dildo. It stretches our vagina and arse, while still conforming to our insides without putting undue pressure in the wrong places.

The surface texture of the Basilisk allows for easy insertion through the gradual changes in overall size, but has enough texture to feel the smaller lumps when inserted.

Mounting

How does one use a dildo? There are a couple of ways: 1) held in your hand, thrusting yourself, 2) a partner holds it, and thrusts it for you, 3) a partner uses it with a harness, or 4) mounted to a flat surface, wall, mirror or floor using a suction cup.

The suction cup on the Basilisk is strong, and holds the dildos weight comfortably in any position we have tried it. Definitely love a dildo with a suction cup for some solo play in the shower.

Lube compatibility

Our preferred lubricant of choice are natural juices, Missus Sub is quite the juice maker.

However in the event that natural juices are not enough, we always go for a premium water based lubricant. Not only does it work well for us, but it also makes cleaning up at the end of a fun session that much easier.

We don’t dare use silicone based lubricants. We have had bad experiences in the past, and while we can test on a small area, we generally don’t run that risk with our toys.

Use water based lubricants only.

Cleaning

Because of the heavy texturing, as well as nooks and crannies, cleaning the Basilisk can be challenging, however a soft brush can help, but we haven’t had any problems with cleaning. A good toy cleaner, or simply soap and water and left to dry before putting away should result in a long lasting toy.

Overall thoughts

If you are looking for your first fantasy or animal dildo, the Basilisk Volcanic Rock is a great option. It is small enough and can start your journey, but also is varied enough for a variety of play, oral, vaginal and anal. The texture is suitable for a variety of sensations.

Would I purchase another, I sure would, and definitely open to trying other animal dildos from the Laphwing Sex Toys store.

Public displays of affection

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How do you feel about PDA? (You can take this as far as “kinks in public,” too.)

In my opinion the PDA can be taken too far both in a vanilla and kink relationships. The line where you cross is different for all people, however for me it comes down to perception.

In a vanilla relationship, holding hands, a quick kiss, a deep embracing hug are all acceptable displays of affection in public. Visibly showing yourself reaching up a skirt, down a top, or inside a pair of pants is a step too far for me.

If it is something you would do in front of your parents or grandparents, then that is acceptable for me.

When it comes to kinks, it is a very similar line, however if the tasks can be completed in a vanilla setting without it being obvious to a non-kinky person, then that is an acceptable PDA for me.

I personally have worn chastity cages out in public not on show for all. Missus sub has worn rope harnesses under her clothing, and people were none the wiser. As long as what you are doing does not expose non-consenting people to your kinks, then that is fine with me.

Moving forward

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Life for the last six or so months has been a series of ups and downs. There were many high points, and many low points that followed the highs. I met new people online, a few of those I met in person, and some of those have decided to go their own way.

What I have learned from these six months is that what I am looking for in a person probably does not exist. The idea of finding a person who is:

  • looking for in person DDlg dynamic
  • open to exploring with a relatively inexperienced Daddy
  • polyamorous
  • flexible around life situations

Trying to find the quadrella within the Sydney basin seems relatively difficult. Six months of exploring has not found someone who is willing to go the distance beyond talking online.

So where to now?

It seem that the person I am looking for is a unicorn, I think I need to accept one of three things:

  1. I become more flexible in the criteria I am looking for
  2. I stop looking for the unicorn
  3. I find a new kink to explore with poly people

I don’t feel my criteria can be any more flexible without damaging my existing family. I would essentially need to have my own play space that I have access to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and that basically means not having a family. Alternatively I stop looking for the unicorn.

Given one of them is far easier to achieve than the other, I think I really need to pick the option where I stop looking. I cannot continue looking for a needle in a haystack, especially if this needle does not appear to exist.

So from today, this switch will stop looking for the unicorn, and start learning to accept what I have been given. If the opportunity arises I might explore it, however I’m not too sure that it will arrive.

I think it might be time to farewell this chapter of Daddy Dom and put it behind me, confining it to the history of this blog. Maybe a new chapter will open in the future, but for now I think this chapter is closed.

Switch

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Are you more dominant or submissive (or a bit of both)?

I’m surprised that of the 30 questions, I didn’t answer this as the very first one. I guess that’s the problem with being at the bottom of the list.

Well given the title of this blog, Musings of a Switch, I am very much a switch, so I lean both dominant and submissive depending on a number of factors.

Photo by elnaz asadi on Unsplash

I am certain that I am a switch through and through. I have submissive days, and I have dominant days. I am also submissive to people with dominant personalities, and vice versa.

However beyond submissive and dominant days with people of the corresponding personality. There are longer periods of time as well that I feel either submissive or dominant.

At the moment, I am going through a dominant period. My interests currently lie in Caregiver/Little as a nurturing Daddy Dom, and the top role in a number of kinks where I have an interest.

I am unable to immediately switch between the two, mostly it is a gradual process, or evolution of feelings that flows between the two states. Or it comes from a feeling that emerges when I wake up in the morning. There are some days where the two co-exist and I have some submissive traits mixed in with dominant traits.

As for answering the question above, I am both a submissive and a dominant, however at the moment I am leaning more towards the dominant part of the spectrum. Although If I came across a dominant woman who I found attractive, I would become submissive leaning for them.

Use me

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I would like someone to bind me, blindfold me, and then turn me into their sex doll using all my holes as they see fit.

Alternatively, I would like to spend some time alone, with a large knotted dildo, and give myself an anal orgasm.